Who Framed Merida? Part 5 - Patty Cake
(Mantis knocks on Radar's dressing room door, not knowing that Claire Dearing is watching her.) *Radar: Who is it? *Mantis: Radar, dear, have no fear. Your Mantis is here. You sure murdered 'em again tonight, baby. I really mean it. My darling, you were superb. You absolutely, truly and honestly "fashmolyed" that audience. You killed them. You slayed them. You belted them-- *Lola: Into little pieces. *(Claire turns around to see Lola standing in front of her.) *Lola: What do you think you're doin', chump? *Claire Dearing: Who are you callin' a chump, fishy? *(Lola gets so mad that she throws Claire out of the club.) *Lola: And don't let me catch your peepin' face around here again! Got it? *Claire Dearing: Ooga-booga! *(Claire Dearing then walks around the corner and peeks through a window where Radar's room is with a camera.) *Mantis: Come, my dear Radar. Come over here. I got everything arranged, right here on the bed. *Radar: Oh, not tonight, Mantis. I have a headache. *Mantis:Oh, Radar, you promised. *Radar: Oh, all right. But this time, take off that hand buzzer. *(Back outside, Claire Dearing is taking pictures of the whole thing and she is surprised by what she sees.) *Claire Dearing: You gotta be kidding me. *Merida: Patty-cake! Patty-cake! Patty-cake! Patty-cake! I don't believe it! Patty-cake! Patty-cake! Is that true? *Qi'ra: Take comfort, dear. You're not the first woman whose husband played patty-cake on her. *(Merida takes a handkerchief to her nose and lets out a big honking sneeze.) *Merida: (Crying) I just don't believe it. I won't believe it. I can't believe it. I shan't believe it. *Claire Dearing: Believe it, kid. I took the pictures myself. She played patty-cake. *(Merida keeps looking through the photos. Sure enough, her husband and Mantis are slapping palms on the bed.) *Merida: No. Not my Radar. Not patty-cake. This is impossible. I don't believe it. It can't be! It just can't be! Radar's my husband! It's absolutely impossible! Radar's the light of my life, the apple of my eye, the cream in my coffee! *Claire Dearing: You better start drinking it black, 'cause Mantis's taking the cream now. *Qi'ra: Hard to believe. Mantis's been my friend and neighbor for 30 years. Who would've thought she was a sugar mama? *Merida: Somebody must have made him do it! *(Qi'ra gives Merida a drink to calm her down.) *Qi'ra: Now drink this, dear. It'll make you feel better. *(Merida drinks the drink. Suddenly, her head starts turning red and she starts shaking until her head turns into a huge steam whistle that lets out a sound so loud that it shatters a lot of glass objects in the room.) *Merida: Thanks. I needed that. (Her head falls flat to the desk.) *Claire Dearing: Son of a gun. Look, Qi'ra. I think my work here is finished. How about that carrot you owe me? *Qi'ra: A deal's a deal. *Claire Dearing: Great. Thanks. *(Merida is now panting and her eyes are all red.) *Qi'ra: Merida, I know all this seems pretty painful now, but you'll find someone new. Won't she, Ms. Dearing? *Claire Dearing: Yeah, sure. Good-looking girl like that. The boys will be breaking her door down. *Merida (enraged): Boys?! What boys?! Radar is the only one for me! You'll see! We'll rise above this piddling peccadillo! We're going to be happy again! You got that? Happy. Capital H-A-P-P-I... *(Merida then zips out through the glass window, leaving a human girl-shaped hole. Claire Dearing and Qi'ra just look on.) *Claire Dearing: Well, at least she took it well. *(Merida is then seen sadly walking in the back of the Mantis factory She then sits on a pile of crates and looks at photos of her and Radar at their wedding, at the beach and at the malt shop.) *Merida: (sobbing) Radar. Please tell me it's not true. (Sobbing) P-p-please! (Sobbing) *(At Dearing & Carlyle Private Investigators, Claire arrives and opens the door. She sits down at her desk and looks at a photo album featuring her, Owen and her late sister, Tina Carlyle. It is revealed that they were once clowns in Ringling Bros. Barnum & Bailey's Circus with their mother. They also solved cases for toons like rescuing Alex's nieces or clearing Petra of a spy charge. The next morning, while Claire is asleep a woman comes into the office unannounced and throws the liquor bottle into the trash can, making a loud sound that wakes up Claire. Claire looks up and sees who it is.) *Claire Dearing: Oh, Sgt. Gamora. Where'd you come from? *Gamora: Gee whiz, Claire. If you needed money so bad, why didn't you come to me? *Claire Dearing: So I took a couple of dirty pictures. So kill me. *Gamora: I already got a stiff on my hands, thank you. *Claire Dearing: Huh? *Gamora: Mantis. The princess cacked her last night. *Claire Dearing: What? Category:Who Framed Roger Rabbit Scenes Category:Who Framed Roger Rabbit Parts Category:Movie Parts Category:Scenes Category:Transcripts